It’s published by a Christian press, so the book tends to be interspersed with Christian beliefs. Though the principles are really universal, in my view. However, as a non-Christian I found the anecdotes and repeated religious references a bit distracting.

Relational Intelligence Quotient – test at


The Michael Scott Syndrome (one office manager in “the office” tv comedy).

Treat and value relationships not as a disposable commodity but (as I understand it) with decency.

Treating others with quality will bring about quantities of influence. not about abandoning quantity, but looking at quality with quantity.

Lack of self-awareness is an obstacle to RI (suggests honesty, vulnerability and courage as parts of the cure).

Habit 1: “accessing the perceptions of those around us”. Ask people you trust (though not not always those whom agree with you) how they view us.

Habit 2: “activate the reflective mind within you”. Review. Make right (e.g. Could be offering an apology to make amends”. May cost time, effort and personal pain but will result in less time, effort and pain later.

Habit 3: “write clarifying statements”. Express with honesty and vulnerability. Be self-aware.

Some examples:
“I struggle with becoming easily envious of others’ accomplishments, so I get uncertain about my ability to succeed with other people in my field — even friends — have success.”

“I get easily insecure about my sense of self-worth, so that when not enough attention is on me from my supervisor or co-workers, I feel devalued and internally